im confused.

yesterday was speech day celebration so the sec 4s could attend the prize giving ceremony. feels great seeing most of our seniors again after so many months! but din really had the chance to talk to them.. apparently they have done such a good job cos many of them received prizes! :D congrats to linda, sweechen, jesselyn, wendy etc too! (:

perhaps its my special period of the month now so somehow my mood seems weird. not so myself i guess. just ytd, i felt so left out during the whole ceremony in the hall cos i just din really feel like talking and i even sat alone [sort of, cos its not with the group] so i actually wanted to just go home after school but i couldn't make up my mind and ended up going to the library with joey, sc, qy, linda.

cant really focus then & even had to ask linda quite several times to help me with my amaths. haha so i felt quite bad keep disturbing her. sighs. haha im sure none of them knew tat i went to the toilet to cry. so i left the library early and went popo hse cos i din want to be alone at home[mum, dad and ben went out], and seeing the kids would often cheer me up :D

had a bad headache while on the way there but luckily i din faint halfway haha. i must have looked horrible cos even ryan asked if i was very tired the moment i entered the house lol. so i grabbed some lunch, ate panadol and went to sleep..

i confided in jiejie my troubles today & surprisingly she gave me advices too. i think there's no one else i can say all these to except her. thanks loads! jiejie said smth like think of myself as a bead and i need to link and reach out to others before i can form a necklace.. so in conclusion, i need to learn to speak up for myself and be more inclusive. (:

im really grateful for my lovely grandparents! gonggong always cook my favourite food when i come here and popo is always willing to be my listening ear & whenever im unwell, she would be there too! (: of course not forgetting my parents and siblings and cousins! they are all great people who are of utmost importance to me! :D

i must persevere for myself. (:

anyway on a lighter note, HAPPY 18 BIRTHDAY DARREN LOW WEI CAI! :DD